Let me start with a question : How do you know what the other person is feeling? Play a game with yourself, trying to interpret simply the body language and then match with the words being said. It is fun that sometimes, we learn a lot of other person’s thought by watching and not only listening. Our senses are very powerful to give signals to our brain. What our eyes can see or ears can hear and store in sub-conscious mind is unimaginable.
The expressions of the emotions is same for all the cultures all around the globe. Leaders around the world exhibit a certain body language when they appear in front of the people or camera. These signs help them to develop trust, power, confidence, positivity and followership.
Your colleague’s idea may appeal to your manager not only because of the content but also the confidence and trust displayed because of body language.
When we see politicians on TV, we judge them through their body language . Often after the US Presidential debates, you will hear the analysts discuss the candidates’ body language. We look for trust, power and confidence in them.
Even in work situations, we like working with certain managers if we see positive and open body language towards us.
What you do speaks is so loud that I cannot hear what you say.
Ralph Waldo Emersen
Studies have found that nonverbal cues have over four times the impact on the impression you make than anything you say. Here are some simple and quick tips for you to build trust among your listeners.
Let's start with a story. I am a sales person in a product consulting firm, XXX. Client likes our product but is not fully convinced. I have been invited in a meeting with multiple people to inform the data points and how the product can be useful. There are department heads from IT, Finance and HR are in the meeting.
SMILE
Genuine smiles help instil trust. They make one look approachable and friendly. They are a positive signal and give a feeling of warmth to others. The first seven seconds are very crucial for your appearance. Smile can lighten your and other person’s mood and add personal touch. Why sometimes we feel that women are able to win over the arguments, is because they smile often.
I enter the big conference room with a smile. I observe people around the table. The IT head shook hands and gave a warm smile. The HR head did not look up, just nodded at my presence. The Finance guy gave me a tight lip smile. With this welcome, I was sure I needed to do a lot of convincing.
POSTURE
An upright posture increases the alertness of the listener and speaker. It is the appearance that is observed before words come out.
Now, if you have to talk to someone for an advice whom will you go to? Mr.A or Mr.B?
Posture describes the mental and emotional status of the person. Imagine you are in a negotiation with Mr. A and Mr. B. You can see from the posture that Mr. B seems interested and excited to go forward. So you would be more interested to explain to Mr. B.
The IT head had the posture like Mr. B. So I was more comfortable in the situation as I got a hint that he was interested. The Finance head was looking at his phone but nodding to what I was presenting. His nods told me that he agrees but needed to get more convinced.
HEAD & EYES
Once you observe the personality in terms of posture, you can observe the position of the head and eyes. If the head is up, then the client is listening to you without any bias and if the eyes have a direct contact, it means the client is engaged and listening what you are saying.
In any negotiation, you would trust the person who’s head is straight and eyes towards you. That will give you the confidence as well that your client is interested.
After a while, I could see that the Finance head was having the direct eye contact with me when asked questions. This gave me further confidence that "yes, he is getting convinced".
HANDS
Hands are very a powerful tool to convey lot of messages. You can identify if the person is telling a lie, making a decision, frustrated, defensive, bored, not interested, doesn’t understand, can be trusted or authoritative or dominant. Watch out for below signs to understand and manoeuvre the conversation.
- Stroking the chin shows person is making a decision
- The mouth, eyes, ear and nose being touched are indications when a lie is told
- Crossed arms indicate the person is being defensive
- Clenching the fist or gripping the wrist/forearm with hand is a sign of being frustrated
- Rubbing the palms together signify interest
- Neck scratch or collar pull is a signal of doubt or uncertainty
- Closed hand on cheeks with index finger pointed upwards shows signs of interest
- As the interest goes down the head begins to rest on hands showing boredom
There are some hand gestures which show dominance, authority, trust and power.
Open palms to show signs of trust 
Shows authority/dominance 
Dominant posture 
Open posture to show power
When my presentation was over, there were questions from all of them. While asking, IT head rubbed his palms and asked me with direct eye contact. Thankfully, it was simple to answer so I was happy. The finance head was stroking his chin and trying to assimilate the points.The HR head was now sitting with crossed arms. This made me realize that HR head was not at all convinced. So I took a chance and asked him about his concerns. Reading this part of body language helped me to connect with the HR head.
Legs
Legs are the last part of body language posture that can be observed to understand the interest levels of the other person. There are many signs to indicate the same.
- The person is not interested if the foot is turned away while having a discussion
- If two people agree, have the same opinion and want to reach an agreement the feet will be mirrored
- If the person sits cross legged in open body posture indicates he/she can challenge the speaker
Foot turned away – not interested 
Insecure 
End the conversation 
Mirroring 
Body relaxed 
Going to challenge other person
Knowing the above body postures can help to understand how are your discussions going.
I was almost at the end of the meeting. I observed that Finance head was in a hurry and was checking his watch. That signal confused me as we still were on schedule. So i checked with him, if I answered all questions he had. He took a challenging position (last picture) on his chair and asked me another question. I must say, it was a well thought question regarding implementation. I was not fully sure of the answer, but looking at his body language I could guess that he is going to further challenge me in whatever answer I give. So, I politely delayed the response saying the right team will get in touch.
The body language signals, helped to understand what is actually going on the client’s mind. It helped me to manoeuvre my responses accordingly.
Body language not only helps in negotiations but in any form it can help you to read what is not being said. Empower yourself!
Deafness has left me acutely aware of both the duplicity that language is capable of and the many expressions the body cannot hide
Terry Galloway
IMFE 