We’ve always believed that our body language reflects our state of mind. But can it be the other way around too? I recently came across a TedTalk by Amy Cuddy that got me thinking. I truly believe that if we can get our mind to think in a certain direction, we can achieve the outcomes we aimed for. So, if our postures, gestures, eye contact, etc can influence our mind, they end up influencing outcomes too!
Emotion always has its roots in the unconscious and manifests itself in the body.
Irene Claremont de Castillejo
When I started working, I was the junior most in my team. My colleagues had an experience of more than 10 years. I was so under confident about myself that even if I did good work, I would never trust the appreciation. I was once given a task to present to a client. Given my lack of confidence, I told my manager “I am sorry I won’t be able to do this”. My manager was one of the best I have ever had. She said that if you think you cannot, fake your confidence and your knowledge. Since, I met the client team alone, I went with full confidence and a few slides into the presentation, I was fully in control of the situation. Post this incident, I realised that faking my body language to look confident helped me feel confident internally.
This works for children as well. My daughter sometimes got bullied by a girl in her school. She used to feel upset and didn’t even want to go to school. I once told my daughter that when she passes by her friend, she should keep her head and shoulder up. And this really worked. Drooping shoulders are a sign of weakness! Soon, the bullying stopped.
What you do speak is so loud that I cannot hear what you say
Ralph Waldo Emersen
Negative body language can have the exact same effect: our brain is signalled to release stress hormones. The stress shows on our face and posture. This further releases stress hormones. It is just like a vicious cycle. Sometimes, motivational and positive thoughts do not create an impact. In such a situation, if we consciously take efforts to fake our body language, the stress signals to the brain will stop.
Smile is contagious, it is because even if someone smiles at you, you would smile back sometimes simply out of courtesy. But that one forced smile, relaxes you as well. It relaxes your facial muscles, the shoulders and provides signal to brain to stop the release of stress hormones.
When we come from work tired both physically and mentally, and spend time with our children doesn’t it refresh our body? It is because when we are with them we do not show we are tired. We fake that we are excited to hear about their day or say, play a board game and while doing all of that we do not feel tired at all. We have mastered faking looking happy and excited in front of our kids, and that is the reason we feel the same internally when we are with them.
Try out the following things to play with your body language and see how your mind behaves:
- When walking in an interview walk straight with shoulders upright and body open, firm handshake. You may have endless thoughts going on, but project confidence when you sit down. Keep your posture erect, head up, arms and legs not crossed.
- When walking into a client presentation, maintain the eye contact, arms and legs not crossed, no quick movements, smile, beware of proximity.
- Presenting on a larger scale of audience, keep open body posture, use open palms while giving an example, keep confident facial expression.
- When walking into a discussion room where you want to feel powerful, take out 2 mins and open up your arms either sitting or standing and calm yourself. This posture is very powerful to make an impact to your thinking and outcomes. Watch the TedX video by Amy Cuddy ” Your body language may shape who you are”.
There are many gestures, postures, facial expressions which can be used to present the message you want to, even if you have to fake it. In my soon upcoming article, I would talk about the meanings of various aspects of body language. Stay tuned.
IMFE 