How do people perceive you? Is people’s perception about you same as what you think it is? How is that perception created? Do you need to change the way people think about you? Do you really know yourself?
Too many things to ponder? But they point to one thing only: YOUR IMAGE.
There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.
Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie puts it beautifully, our image is created in four ways. Interestingly, people are constantly observing our behaviour and appearance, forming opinions about our personality, commitment and competency. A small remark by us can make us look unfriendly. A trivial gesture can make us seem sexist. Our postures sometimes can be perceived as being aggressive. By observing you, people can judge you to be be attractive, trustworthy, diva, showoff, hysteric, egoist, poseur, hyperbolist, drama queen, ambitious, megalomaniac, exhibitionist, vainglory.. the list is endless
What we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it – one needs to take control of these to control the PERCEPTION!
WHAT WE DO
Gestures, postures, facial expressions are some of the ways you can impart the message you want. 55% of our communication is through our actions. “I trust actions, not words” is a saying which is so true.
Often we form perceptions on the basis of body language. Some years ago, there was a neighbour (now a good friend) who never used to smile or acknowledge others. If I wished him “good morning”, I would get a plain expressionless “morning”. He was a tall built guy, looking over my head and each time it seemed he didn’t recognise me. His body language made me feel he is snobbish and arrogant. Years later, we connected through a common friend and got talking. That day I felt a little strange. I realised he is not arrogant at all. Earlier, his behaviour spoke about his personality. He did not intentionally ignore acknowledging, but he never realised my presence because he was lost in his thoughts.
Often while talking, we don’t realise where our eyes are looking, how are our hands are moving, what is the position of our head or legs, and sometimes we are not aware of our proximity to others. All these are very powerful tools to give a message both positively or negatively. All these can be improved upon with a little tweak in our body language, help us re-create ourself and master the art of impressions.
HOW WE LOOK
Looks are the most important part of our personal appearance. Studies say, looks can impact the impression by 55%. When you meet someone for the first time, your mind first registers the look of the person via what the person is wearing. You notice the colours, accessories, patterns and your sub-conscious mind makes a note of it. The looks get noticed before the body language. You can identify a person being authoritative, forceful, gentle, practical, attractive, warm and many more through the clothing and accessories they are wearing.
If you are judging someone, by how they dress up, someone is judging you as well.
Here is a quick guideline for you to select clothes keeping in mind the personality you want to reflect. Clothes with straight cuts or curved, light colours or dark colours, soft fabric or firm fabric, small scale shapes or large scale shapes, un-tailored or tailored, less contrast or bold contrast – all project a personality.
- Soft fabric – approachable.
- Less contrast – warm,
- Curves in silhouette – gentle
- Light colours – friendly
- Small scale shapes – subtle
- Less contrast – demure
- Smooth textures – gentle
- Solid lines – realistic
- Un-tailored – informal
Next time, when you are selecting your apparel, choose the way you want others to think about yourself and enhance your perception.
Clothing is the most powerful non-verbal communication tool you posses. Use it to your advantage.
WHAT WE SAY
Words are very important. Without a clear message, actions and tone do not add value and impact. Message to be communicated should be clear and actions can be used to enhance the communication.
Once, I went to a conference for entrepreneurs. Some of the ideas were very good, but the some of these entrepreneurs failed to communicate the depth of their ideas and the likely message they wanted to send. They had great video presentations with lots of quotes and analysis, but the idea did not come through. So, the usage of appropriate words is very important. They let people decide on your competence.
HOW WE SAY
Words are important, but how we say is equally important. You may have all the content but if not presented rightly, you may lose a deal. We all know that President Abraham Lincoln was a great orator. But not in the beginning of his career. He had a clear vision which was stated with lots of mumbling, monotone, squeaking, shrill and people did not listen to him intently. He changed his actions, body language and his voice pitch and created his new brand – that of being an accomplished speaker.
The voice pitch, tone, correct emphasises on words, the pace at which we talk all lead to people engage in conversation with you. You can refer to one of my blog about “power of pitch” for more thoughts on this.
The wonderful thing is all these four ways are workable and easy to implement!
You have it in you, believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable.
IMFE 